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How does a person with ASD date successfully?
Many autistic adults have partners and children. Some manage marriage, relationships and family life very well, while others may have difficulties. You can also read what autistic people say about relationships. It doesn't seem to matter to him whether we are in the same room or even the same country. Having an autistic partner may mean having to help them with social interaction, particularly around unwritten social rules. Not understanding these rules may make you partner more vulnerable. Having a relationship with an autistic person can be as rewarding as any other relationship. However, there may be adjustments that you need to make, such as thinking about the way you communicate with your partner.
Dating is complicated. Dating when you have autism spectrum disorder is… like herding blind cats into a volcano that is directly across from the World Fish and Catnip Museum. During the simplest of interactions with a potential love-interest, my brain is working overtime. For the sake of my sanity I've taken to online dating recently, though the results have been only incrementally better. Trying to interpret the meaning behind the little gestures, the closeness, or lack thereof, the little lulls and crests of conversation—It's like trying to crack the Da Vinci code for me. Even the thought of attempting to make—God-forbid—physical contact with my date causes me to short-circuit into a spiral of failed social calculations and crippling anxiety.
If you go clothes shopping with them, try something on and ask for their opinion - they will honestly give it! Their responses can hurt your feelings, but when they give you praise, or say they like something, it means so much because you know they mean it. Those with autism often take things literally, so if you have an argument with them and tell them to go away meaning to perhaps go to another room so that you stop arguing with each other they may walk out of the home with no intention of ever returning. You have to be clear with how you explain things to them, even saying that some food you are eating is sharp can make them think you have just eaten some food which was physically sharp which may have hurt you. Or if you tell them to wait a minute, they will assume you literally mean wait for one minute. For many with autism they see things as being black and white; things are either good or bad and they can overreact to things going to extremes.
Autism & Dating: 3 Young Women Tell Us About Their Love Live
How do we effectively teach relationship skills? Teaching social thinking is a good place to start. Michelle Garcia Winner has done excellent work in this area. Her book Socially Curious, Curiously Social teaches perspective taking, facing social challenges, creating thinking flexibility and building strong friendships.