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I Take Dating Rejections Way Too Personally, And I Know I’m Not The Only One
Start with you. Rejection is probably the hardest part of the dating process. It taps into our worst fears about not being good enough or that we are somehow unlovable. When someone rejects you it can be hard not to take it personally. Each of us has a unique blueprint for what defines our ideal partner. This is why love is so treasured, sought after and can seem so difficult to find. One of the best ways to deal with rejection is to feel good about yourself. In a strange way rejection during the dating process can help your relationships in the future.
Here's a snapshot of what my love life has been like for the past few months. In December, a guy I went to high school with started messaging me on Facebook. That escalated to texting every day, phone dates, and him bringing up visiting me over Valentine's Day weekend he was in the Midwest, I'm in New York City. A few days after he suggested the trip, he asked if he could come earlier than we'd planned. I was crushed. Everything was going great until we had sex and he ghosted me. I was devastated.
Foto ilustrasi oleh Matthew Weibe via Creative Commons. It can be overwhelming to be ghosted, dumped, or not have your feelings reciprocated, and trying to figure out the reason it went down—Did I text too frequently? Was I too forward on our last date? Does he think my dream of visiting Dollywood is stupid? Some people down a pitcher of frozen mango margaritas and show up at their ex's doorstep demanding answers about why things didn't work out. Others go on a digital rampage, erasing any trace of the ex in their social media feeds.
Being Rejected Sucks, Here's How to Cope
The most important lesson to learn is how to cope with rejection and move on. Rejection can occur at all different stages in the dating process. Whichever stage it happens at how you cope with rejection will depend very much on how you think about it.